We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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