Swine flu. Run for my life!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
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