i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
she looked like the before picture.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
