i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
