She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
