I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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