I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
