normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
