i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
