how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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