I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Its guy fieris flavor town of sufferingâ„¢
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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