Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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