I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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