dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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