Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Randomize
