Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
