yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
