today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
