i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
