Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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