arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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