That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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