I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
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