so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
