I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
