That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
