Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
