I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
wow bdsm is so cute
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