I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
