I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
