8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
time to smoke my breakfast
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
