Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
