I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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