you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
