ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
