:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
