Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
