She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
