there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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