Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
