i don't like sucking hair
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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