I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
