can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
