as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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