he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
