Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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