That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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