oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
