I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
