Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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