You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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