I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Randomize
