i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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