do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize
